Kanda's Memory Box
by ApocryphosWriter
Summary: Ok, this is my first fanfiction ever. So be nice. This is pretty much about Kanda. He's dead and talking about how he loved Allen and memories he had of him. The story is better than this summary. Mild swearing. and yea. I DONT OWN D GRAY MAN


Ok, this is my first fanfiction ever and i wrote this in an hour AND i'm twelve. so sorry if it sucks. reviews would be cool, but i bet no one will read this.

**Warnings:** Yaoi? No, not really. Crude language. That's it i guess. Slight OOC for kanda, well major if u count him being in love with allen.

**DISCLAIMER:** I own absolutely everything, so yea. No need for a disclaimer.

**Kanda:** Che. Yea right "ninja". Your dont fucking own a thing except your sorry ass computer.

**Me:** KANDA! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? ALLEN! HELP!

**Allen:** I can't believe yet another person made another "Yullen" story. It's absolutely repulsive to think that girl of a guy and i would be together.

**Kanda:** -slaps Allen- WHY U STUPID FUCKING MOYASHI! SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I SHOVE MUGEN UP YOU A-!

**Lenalee: **Guys, calm down.

**Lavi:** Oi! What's going on guys? :D

**Big Scary Men in Black: **Hello. Who claimed this Manga/Anime for themselves? We are here to beat the crap out of them, i mean...uh... talk to them.

**Me: **IM SORRY! I DIDNT MEAN IT! I DONT OWN THIS OR ANYTHING! D GRAY MAN IS NOT MINE AND WILL NEVER BE! DONT HURT ME!

**Kanda: **Che. Wimp

**Me:** -punches kanda into next week- remember, I have the power to chose your fate.

**Kanda:** -isn't fazed and starts try and kill me- WHY YOU BAKA! IM GOING TO KILL U FOR MESSING UP MY HAIR!

**Me**: EEP!

* * *

_My name is Yuu Kanda._

_I am an exorcist. I fight with innocence called Mugen._

_Mugen is my katana. I am 19._

_My true age is 9._

_I don't remember my first name._

_I was in love._

_I lost her._

_I died by an Akuma._

_I was reborn into a second exorcist in a synthetic body._

_My best friend was Alma Karma._

_I killed him._

_I escaped to the Black Order._

_I became an exorcist._

_I met General Yeeger._

_I hate his guts, but he treated me so well._

_I still dream the that person, my love._

_I am looking for her._

_I only have until the petals fall._

_Three have fallen._

_I met the Moyashi._

_We went on our first mission and got the innocence from this doll._

_We hated each other._

_Fight after fight._

_I had to leave to my section._

_I missed him._

_I denied it._

_He died._

_Part of me died._

_I was going to commit seppuku._

_I denied my feeling about him._

_I went to Edo to kill these things called Noahs._

_I fought with this Noah bastard named Tyki Mikk._

_I found the Moyashi._

_He was alive._

_I denied my own feelings of happiness._

_We went into the Noah ark together._

_I fought this Noah named Skinn to send the others ahead._

_I told myself it was to protect Lenalee, my only friend._

_I told myself it was to save more lives than lost._

_I told myself it was because I wouldn't die._

_It was because I didn't want Moyashi to be hurt._

_I killed him but the room collapsed around me._

_The petals fell._

_I watched the pink wings fall and blacken._

_I am dead once more._

_I was resurrected by the Moyashi._

_His real name is Allen Walker._

_He is the 14__th__ Noah._

_I am sworn to kill Noahs, to kill him._

_As I watch the petals form again, the lotus bloom once more, I realize something._

_I love Allen._

_

* * *

_

I am dead again. I died long before. My soul died when Allen died, when the Noah took over him. I must hold onto these memories in death.

I must relive them.

If not these cursed memories will dissipate. The precious memories of the cursed boy I loved will be gone from the world forever. I will not let that happen. I will keep these memories until the end of time.

I feel them slipping. Again they try to leave me, to return to nothing. To disappear from me forever. No. I can't let that happen. I must keep them until my soul has died for once and for all. I must.  
-

Jumping. Falling. Landing. Unsheathing Mugen. Seeing the fear in his gray eyes. Oh those beautiful gray eyes. Seeing for the first time that scar which made him special. The one that let him see into the souls of Akumas. To see into my soul too.

I called him an Akuma and cut his arm. I was sworn to kill all Akumas. As far as I knew he was one. As far as I cared he was one.  
His arm was red, red like war, hate, hurt, and pain. Red and scared which told perfectly his life. It turned into a giant silver mass of innocence.

I saw the gash I caused in his arm. I didn't care, in fact I was proud, a clean cut again. I feel guilty about it now though, for not caring, for feeling proud about the new scar I caused onto my beloved. Of course that was before I promised to myself to never hurt him and damn all who did, including that bastard Cross. I would have killed him if he weren't essential to the world.

No, I lied. I was going to kill him. Somehow those damn Noahs got to him first. The lucky bastard. If I got my way he would be worse than dead.

If I had gotten my way they wouldn't have been able to use his damned drunken body to hurt Moyashi. If I would have gotten my way they would have been able to use him as a puppet to find out thing s that would lead to them being able to provoke his inner Noah to come out. If I had gotten my way we might have been together. Happy.

No! Fuck it all! That would never have happened! He didn't love me… did he?

It's slipping… the memory is floating away. Floating down… Falling… Blackening…Disintegrating… Dying. Gone forever. Forever! Damn it!

How did the Moyashi and I meet? Was it when we went to Martel on our first mission? When we saw the centuries old doll? When he faced his first Level 2? When I punched him…

No. I know that's not it…is it?

* * *

_I don't know my name._

_I was an exorcist._

_I died by trying to save who I loved from another exorcist._

_Even though he was already another and it was no longer him._

_His name was Allen._

_He did not love me back._

_He was the successor of the 14__th__ Noah._

_He had soft snow white hair and a scar over his left eye._

_His arm was black with a broken cross on it._

_He used to be an exorcist too._

_I love him and I will forever._

_

* * *

_

As I try to hold onto my remaining memory of him I let go of some of mine. If I am to forget who I am in order to hold these memories of him so be it. I will never let him go…again.

I remember the day his damned "Master" returned.

That thought dead general kicked open the door to the Komui's office the Moyashi and I were in discussing or next mission.

The bastard smelled suspiciously of alcohol and cigarettes. The stench burnt my nose and I turned away in disgust.

Moyashi saw him. I saw a palette flicker across his face surprise, disbelief, hate, anger, and the worst one I could imagine on my Moyashi's face, fear.

Damn that bastard! I hated him for what he did to my poor Moyashi! How dare he inflict such emotional pain on him! I don't care if he fucking "took care" and "protected" him. He did a damn bad job! Didn't he know what the poor kid went through?

He took _my _Allen by the collar and dragged him off in a drunken haze.

"Oi! You drunk bastard! I thought you were fucking dead! Was it just to get out of duty? You are a disgrace to the Black Order you piece of shit! I ought to kill you for all the work you made us do to fucking find you AGAIN!" And for hurting _my_ Allen! For putting through so much trauma. For letting the 14th pass his will onto him. I wanted to say it all. But no. Then Allen would know I loved him and that couldn't happen. Not yet.

"I am going to talk to _my _idiot apprentice now, and you will apologize later for disrespecting me. Got it Mrs. Drag Queen? Hmm? What's that? I can't here you. Are you trying to insult me? Good bye." Then while I was screaming profanity at him he dragged _my _Moyashi out and I swear, his eyes glowed gold for a second.

I am still angry about how he called Allen _his._ Allen is _mine_ and no one can take that away from me.

* * *

So, watch think? I know it sucks D: Like i said I wrote this in like an hour. So should I continue? I have some ideas, but i'm not sure whether this is good enough or not.

Reviews would be cool, but i be no one will read this.


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